Well who is in charge? Is it your parents, media, friends, society, your local club? The key component of the work self-confidence is SELF, meaning it is you. Your life, your body, your mind and most of all your confidence.
The trouble starts with control, you are supposed to control yourself but that is bad business for others. Others want to control as much of you as possible, well mostly they want your money and the easiest way for them to get it is for you to have lousy self confidence.
They then go about selling you every thing you could ever need to build your self image back up. But never up enough to stop spending that is. Think about this, have you ever seen an advertisement that said you are perfect continue on as you are doing now?
Every advertisement has some message to spend in this store or join our group or buy this home do-it-yourself kit. This constant bombardment of information had an effective way into our psyche. Once there it can distort how we value our self and what we need to do.
It is time to take back control of ourselves, to use our self confidence to say we are enough and I have had enough of everyone meddling in my affairs. Don't confuse this with not needing anyone to help with your affairs, because we are all somewhat reliant upon others for certain things. Unless you are going out to the mountains to live off the land, you will need others help.
Help is fine. When it is manipulation, then it is not good for us. The easiest way to regain control of our self is through awareness. You must start to notice how many times company's, clubs, people and interest groups work on influencing you. Once you have gained the awareness of that it becomes easier to filter their message as helpful or manipulative.
The manipulative ones, you will come to realize they are working to get you to see things their way regardless of your current view. An easy example, you are watching TV and an ad comes on for toothpaste, it's not your brand but the commercial seems interesting. Next time you buy toothpaste you see the brand and think, "Heck I will give it a try". Based on nothing but an interesting TV ad.
People do this with everything, just an ad nothing more. No research, no questioning if the ad was honest or realistic. This is a good time to have noticed someone is hijacking your self confidence. How? You had a product you liked, it worked for you and fulfilled any other requirements. Someone came and got you to change based on nothing but a 30 second commercial. It means they broke your self confidence.
You protest this is a silly example and has nothing to do with your self confidence. You can just as easily apply this to parenting, there is a commercial saying you need to do "whatever" with your child or you are a bad parent. Even when scientific study's show it is not necessary but your parental self confidence is shaken and just to be on the safe side you do "whatever" it was.
There are as many examples as there are products on the market. Some people respond angrily when they read this type of article because you realize you have been duped by someone and no one likes that. Then take some action and start to notice how many times a day someone wants you to buy do or have their stuff. Check into your own thoughts and see if you actually think that would help you. Don't worry about them anymore. It is time for you to run you.